Normal...well sort of!

This Thursday, for the first time since June 6th, I slung a leg over my trusty bicycle and peddled away with friends.  Just getting into my biking clothes was strange and even a bit difficult.  Fortunately, the way the waist band is cut on my bike shorts mirrored the angle of the incision, and was a half inch below!  That meant no irritating chaffing or pressure on a sensitive area.

Clipping into my pedals was another odd moment.  Being one with the bike again was a strange sort of commitment, almost a form of trust, that I could do this again.  Being "lopsided" since the weight of the scar tissue is on the right was a bit of a concern.  I wondered if it would effect my balance and how I felt coming to a stop and having to unclip my left foot, which is my preferred release foot.  After the first red light it came back as naturally as taking a deep breath...it just happened when needed.

Can't quite say the same for using the drops on my handlebars, that lower portion on most road bikes.  That continued to feel a tad strange and "fat" on the right side.  I know this will get better, as it doesn't feel as hard and inflexible as it did even a few weeks ago.  Now if I can just get the quads to get back to the strength they were back in May when I did my last century ride...Have I mentioned that I'm impatient?

Ahh well, guess I'll go do the hubby's "boring" little ride down to the Y in Burlington...it's only a 15 mile round trip... I'm already chomping at the bit for longer rides.  I'd rather go out for 20 to 25 today...but suspect that  may be pushing a bit too much.  Guess that means I really am back to "Normal"!!

Fin - well almost!

Well, almost!  My next check up isn't for months.  In fact, not till Dec. 6th.  That's six months almost to the day from my surgery.  Today's check up went very well, just too long as always.

 I've been given clearance to leg up on the bike!! Hooooray! and allowed back into the gym (although I didn't tell them I went to a Zumba class yesterday afternoon)  Real weights are out of the question till probably the Dec. appointment.  They want to be sure that I don't herniate anything.  So I'll be sticking with the lighter weights..which is good, I need to start rebuilding my base here.

If I had any doubts that about being in good shape helping with recovery, they were answered today.  One of my fellow donors, eight years younger than I, is having a really difficult recovery.  I'm sure she's somewhat fit, let's face it, or she'd never have been approved for donation.  Still, she's not even back at work at all yet and I'm actually going full time this week. How I feel about being back at my job is another story entirely.

Last night on the couch!

Well, tonight may well be the last night on the couch.  I'm rolling over fairly easily onto my right side.  the swelling is...well not too bad.  I can sit for fair periods...and am actually feeling like going upstairs to bed.  Course, the hubby will have to get used to getting hit for snoring ...and not hogging the whole damn bed, but .. we are returning to normal now.  Bit by bit by bit!

The scar is getting slowly more flesh like, the swelling made the area around it hard and stiff.

I'm probably actually going out tonight for the first time since the surgery.  My nephew, in the Navy, is in town and this may be the last shot at seeing him for a very long time.  Plus if I get tired..we go home.  It's as simple as that...or just lay down on a couch or spare bed for a little bit.  That's the biggest problem with work.  When the need to lay down comes on, I NEED to lay down. Plain and simple.  So, may be another week before work is possible, or maybe start with half days.  Time will tell.

8:30 am Dr. appt. tomorrow at the Hospital.

One week with one kidney

Hard to believe it's been probably exactly a week since they lifted the Righteous Kidney out and took her to another room.  To spend the rest of her useful days inside another body, helping him help others.  The Lone Ranger stepped up and began to perform solo to perfection.  Sometimes almost a little too well, for my liking.  Trying to figure how to get up off the bed and into the bathroom with speed, post surgery, can be a rough way to wake up!  Nice to know both of mine are strong and capable.

I am beginning to really feel pretty good.  Only pain killers since, early Saturday are Tylenol.  And those are infrequent too.  So much for the predicted pain.

The Lone Ranger Rides!

Can I just say...for a one kidney wonder...I am peeing a whole whole lot!  Granted, it is a major focus of my days...but this little Lone Ranger is doing an awesome job of working at filtering my blood!  I am seriously impressed at the bodies ability to recoup and compensate.

I'll have to take time in a bit and post the whole hospital process which was incredible.  The staff, the people, the whole experience was terrific.  My kidney now happily resides in a handsome tall dark, ... you got it... Man!! :-)  Best of all, Joe is a personal trainer and I know he will appreciate the training rides I took his kidney on and will continue the good care!

Opps...bathroom calling...again!  I am a Champion!!

Three Days and a wake up!

It's a glorious Saturday morning...the hubby is mowing the lawn, the sun is shining and it's a tad warm, but then, this is summer time in New Jersey!

Went to the hospital yesterday morning for one last blood letting.  Only around 5 or 6 vials this time.  This is for the final cross match with my recipient.  Kind of nerve racking.   If for some reason there is reactivity ... then everything gets stopped.  I know for a fact Vicky is nervous too.  So incredibly close and yet, until we are in the hospital and in the operating rooms.. it could still come to a halt.

One more person at work now knows.  Our financial wizard, aka head of finance.  He needed to know what was going on with Pete being out on family leave, so Pete felt the need to tell him why I was out at exactly the same.  To my surprise he is totally honoring our wishes for "silence" and came over to wish me luck.  All this with a look of total surprise.

So Tuesday June 8th at around 5 in the morning...we will be leaving the house to drive over, get parked and get this party started.

I've had another reminder of what is possible with one kidney.  My beautiful sister-in-law, Laura, is in Macon Georgia, doing another 1/2 Ironman.  14 years after the removal of her kidney (along with the tumor that weighed more than 7.5 lbs.)  So...who knows, maybe I'll get faster AND stronger afterwards.

It's taken me till now to really wrap my head around the fact that other people find this such a strange thing to do.  To me this really does just seem natural.  Or maybe it's just that this is the exact place and space I'm supposed to be in.  The exact road I'm meant to travel and that's why it feels so perfectly right and comfortable.

My dad calls from Olympia WA, nearly every day.  Just checking up on his daughter....making sure I feel ok.  And I do.  Andy calls too, sort of surprised that I was still at work, but honestly...why not??? I have things to do lists to leave people to "train".  I plan on being in work on Monday too!  What else am I going to do....clean house...I don't thinks so.  I have a lovely plaque in the family room given by a co worker years ago.  "Housework causes warts" !  I believe! I believe!

Ah well off to do some....work, just work, cause after all it's only, oh hell, 2 days and a wake up!!

Two weeks time.

Went to the gym tonight, loving every minute of it.  Half way thru an abs class, it began to really hit me how I won't be able to do this at all, in two weeks time.  Side crunches, working the oblique muscles...twisting and bending side to side...faster and faster.  Long slow Pilate's like stretches..won't be seeing any of those for quite some time to come.  I know a lot of people who would be delighted to be excused as it were, from gym class for the rest of their lives.  I'm sort of in mourning for it.  It's such a part of who I am.  Who I've become over these last..what 8 years.

This isn't regret.  I don't.  I just know I'll miss it, for a while anyway.  If I need encouragement or courage, I've only got to look at the 7 inch scar on my left arm, where my surgically relocated cubital tunnel nerve..the ulna? lives in it's new home.  I was off the bike for 8 whole weeks. At the end of that I was able to do the MS 150...both days.  I know this is much bigger and more serious, but it gives me hope.

 Monday we, Pete, Vicky, Ray, Vicky's sister, her daughter and granddaughter...all spent the day at the hospital.  Going thru more blood work, meeting with the surgeon. Discussing techniques.  Becoming acquainted with exactly who was getting what.  Apparently Pete & Vicky, didn't know until Monday that she's not getting my kidney.  I guess as one of the failsafes, they told me that we would be a paired match, not a direct donation, so that if I wanted out I had a perfect excuse.  But I didn't and I don't!  Vicky is getting another mans kidney.  Mine is going...dunno yet.  Maybe his wife?  or daughter?  Doesn't really matter.

We, Pete & I finally told the people at work.  What a relief.  We waited till after lunch, and then told one of the other women to shut the door.  So now, 3 coworkers know exactly what's happening and when.

We have lift off!!

Got a date!! June 8th is the scheduled date for the swap out.  I think I was the first one in the chain of, can you make this date.  My companion in this journey just got her call today and I found out at work.  Tomorrow is my echo cardiogram... tick tick tick!  Then a lunch date with my son and then... perhaps...looking for a job.  I so want out of where I am.  Ah well off to ride the bike and stay as fit as I can before I can't be too fit for a while!  Happy happy Joy Joy!! :-)

Dates with ?

Well, tomorrow is finally my date with a Hysteroscopy !  Whatever that turns out to be like.  I suspect not the most fun, but I've been promised a birds-eye view and that will have to suffice for now.  I'm certain they won't find a thing wrong either...just polyps and fibroids...which we already knew I had.  Friday is my date with the Echo Cardiogram....get to see the mitral valve prolapse I already know I have and that doesn't effect me in the slightest!! Gotta love specialists who freak at things they ain't familiar with like minor heart murmers and such.

We have a tentative date...dunno if I mentioned it...June 8th is looking like a possible date for surgery.  Good part about that is I get to do the Doan Hall Century ride this Saturday, the training ride with the Lockheed Martin team on Sunday too!  And then, like all that weren't enough, I get Memorial Day weekend camping and Kayaking in the Delaware Water Gap!  So by the time we get to surgery, I'm gonna need a rest!  My theory, if I go into it totally fit...recovery will be that much quicker!

Time will tell.

Final "Pre" Dr. appt.

Tomorrow at 9:45 I meet the surgeon for the first time.  Apparently the head of the transplant dept. is doing my surgery.  Guess that's cause they have to do open on me.  Kinda nice to know I'm getting one of the most experienced people working on me. Now I may have to discuss stitching techniques. I like feather or blanket stitch embroidery personally...have to see what he favors.  And what  his thoughts are for my tattoo afterwards.  Still toying with the idea of "I gave at the office"  or "US Grade A prime".  Wonder if he'll have the same lack of humor the other nephrologist!

Did a beautiful Century Ride yesterday with a bunch of folks and friends from Doan Academy. Figure this may be the last one for this year.  It was amazing to ride along side a bunch of adorable 8th graders doing something that many experienced riders have never done.  Rode along side the Head Master for many a mile too.  He asked if I would come in and talk to the Upper School (aka High School) about what I'm doing.  I responded, before or after, and he said before.  Not sure when they get done with their school year, but it may be that it's too early for my after.   He thinks it's a cool thing and that the idea that someone would do it for a non family member is "inspiring"... I just think it's what I need to do.

Told my dearest old friend Rose about it last week, she's all behind it!  Turns out her daughter actually works in "HUP" aka Hospital of University of Pennsylvania.  So having company while I'm there should be easy!

Still waiting....

Stuck in hold mode.  Was supposed to have a Hysteroscopy tomorrow...but mother nature...she don't like to be told what to do...so she decided to gift me...again.  It's been a whalloping two weeks since my last period...and its back with a vengeance!  So now that puts the Hysteroscopy off till things clear up...which could be anywhere from a week to three weeks.  She's a mean one she is, Mother Nature.

Limbo

Well, that's what this feels like anyhow! I'm still waiting for one of the Dr. offices to call me back. They're supposed to be arranging a hysteroscopy. This will allow them a final look deep inside and determine that the "growth" is exactly that...a growth and nothing more. It's frustrating just having to sit and wait. I actually left a rather pointed message on the voice mail of the woman who does the scheduling, explaining that she is right now...the single domino that's holding up all the works.

Next trip to the U of P will be for an Echo Cardiogram...also a fun test...especially if you get to watch. I did the last time I had this done, almost 6 or 7 years ago. It was so amazing watching your own heart beating away, and then with help from the technician, seeing the valve that's misbehaving. I'm always fascinated by how our bodies work and to actually get to see your own in action is simply too much fun.

I found out during my last go round at the hospital that they won't be able to do laparoscopic surgery on me. Apparently from the CT scan they were able to determine exactly where my kidneys lie and it's not compatible with that type of surgery.  SO looks like I'll wind up with one big scar instead of 3 very small and one medium one. Had a thought the other day, a tattoo, in small clean print type font, saying, "I gave at the office" ! May have to revise my "I'll never get a tattoo" philosophy.

It's hard waiting too, knowing that I'm "training" for rides and races I may never get to do. The American Cancer ride is in July, I was planning on doing the Metric Century, 100k, but may not be allowed to ride yet. I'm planning a kayak trip to the Delaware Water Gap, but may not be able to paddle (won't be able to lift anything more than 10 lbs, so getting into and out of the 'yak, may be difficult). I'm part of organizing a Livestrong Challenge team, and won't be sure what distance I'll be riding, if any, for a while. My original plan was 100 miles, but now that's all up in the air. I may wind up doing 20 or so with the cancer survivors...if I'm lucky. And I'll be happy with that. It's just every single thing this summer is now up in the air. Guess it's kinda like finding out your kidneys are dying...and killing you too...Life itself is up in the air, waiting, hoping. Limbo.

Closer

Yesterday was April 30th...aka Dr.s Day for me. Started with a quick eyeball check by my surgeon. He's happy, I'm happy, my vision is perfect!

On to bigger things...Next stop, the nephrologist office at U of P. This one's been a while in the making. Got to meet and talk with one of the Dr's who will be responsible for my care as well as the care of my recipient. He spent the better part of an hour with me..checking..listening..tapping..feeling and basically giving the ole tires a good kicking.

End result is, he wants to check a few more things. My heart murmer aka mitral valve issue, while it gives me no issues, he wants another echo cardiogram. Haven't had one in a few years..so ok. There is some kind of mass next to my polp and fibroid (both of which I knew I had) and he just want's my gynecologist to check it again.

If these two things get squared away in the next week or so....we may begin discussing surgery as early as a week from today. Now that isn't say that it will happen in a week, just preliminary when and all that good stuff. Exciting, scary and part of me just want's it over with. I want to train for stuff for this summer. I want to be able to plan things. I want to be done, so I can just tell people. I'm still telling folks one at a time. Once we are absolutely certain...I won't care who knows. Or what they think.

And then reflecting on my impatience...what must it be like knowing your kidneys are dying. Literally dying. And hoping and praying that you don't have to go on dialysis.

I had to deliver my 48 hours worth of samples yesterday, and have blood drawn to match up with them. Since we are still concerned with getting good viable samples, I got to take home my fourth sample bottle! I'm becoming a professional pee-er!! Literally.

But on the bright side of everything, I also finally found out which method will be used on me, and fortunately and unfortunately, it is the old fashioned slice and dice. Which will mean less difuse pain from the gas they use to allow for moving around room. But a bigger incision. You give some you get some.

Went cycling today, only got in 28 miles with friends and my hubby. Absolutely beautiful day to ride and get in shape. And as I tell my recipients hubby, gotta keep the parts in shape and healthy.

Waiting, again

I'm stuck thinking about the waiting...if it's this hard for me..what must it be like to know part of your body is dying. And there is hope for a new part, somewhere out there. And you can't get to it yet. Not that it isn't offered, but there are so many hurdles to be jumped first. What is it like to wake every morning, wondering how well you body, your kidneys are going to do today. Will they function ok, will they get worse. How will you feel? Tired? Or just unwell? and how long will this drag on...and the biggest fear I think is, will I wind up on dialysis? and what will that do to my body.

Strangely, there was a book about my favorite topic, The Camino de Santiago de Compostella, called "Fumbling" by Kerry Egan. I'd wanted the book for sometime, even before we hiked the Camino Portuguese to Santiago. But, as luck would have it, I didn't get a copy of the book until just last month. In it, Ms. Egan describes how she deals (or rather doesn't) deal with her fathers death, from diabetes and kidney failure. She describes in graphic detail some of the side effects of the dialysis, esp. the bodies inability to handle phosphorus and the granules that form under/on the skin. The skin becomes a method for the body to excrete minerals and other waste since the kidneys aren't working and dialysis can only do so much. It's not pretty.

It leaves me wondering what must V be thinking and fearing. What do all transplant patients feel as they sit and wait, hoping and praying. Hoping someone will step up to the plate and say, test me. Hoping someone will allow Dr's to turn off the machines keeping a loved one alive, even if that "life" itself is no longer there. Hoping someone will allow parts from that loved ones body to be taken and allow another life to go on.

The happy/sad part is that today so many donations aren't made. For one very simple reason, medicine has come so far in recent years, that many accident victims who would have been donors, now simply walk out of the hospital. Wonderful for them, but it adds to the growing list of sick people for whom organs are desperately needed.

So for now, V and I wait. For more tests, for more Dr. appts, for more samples, blood, urine, patience!

Waiting...tick tick tic....

Sort of all done till my meeting with the Nephrologist. Then apparently...later another meeting with the actual surgeon! That won't occur till April 30th. That's when I get to deliver two fresh half gallons of Pee!! Chilled to perfection..and then of course get more blood drawn...wonder if it's going to be 19 vials for each specimen??? That's what they took the last time!! But in all honesty I think those were for some of the original matching stuff and also initial checking of my health. Don't think they'll need that many the next time...doesn't matter! They always remind me that I can quit at any time and they'll cover for me...like that would happen...! I guess it does..but I know I won't, there just doesn't seem to be anyway to not do it. This really is someone else's life, how do I turn away at this point! It would just feel wrong. So now I just try to be patient, and wait...two weeks to go.

Mammo's are fun!

If your into S & M ! But also highly necessary... So today immediately after work, I bolted to the nearest purveyor of Mammography and had my boobies smashed! One more step to my complete physical! I actually remembered the name of one of the surgeons in the transplant team, so they can then forward my results!

Saw V right before I left for the Mammo, and was able to report my happy colonoscopy results!! Which seemed to make her day. It was nice to be able to thank her, because I'd been putting it off for quite some time...like three years! Such an easy exam (your asleep for Gods sake!) and now I have the comfort of knowing that I don't have to do it again until I'm 60!! 7 years from now.

Same thing with the Mammo's...I've been known to skip years! With my family history, I ought not to do that! So now this year I'm smack on time! So there is a real upside to all of this running around and testing! Tomorrow...gotta think about doing my 24 hour urine specimen..Since the previous results were protein contaminated.

Funny thing today, when the nurse/technician asked why I was getting the Mammo..Duh, cause my mother died from breast cancer...I also told her why I needed the results sent elsewhere...and she looked surprised....I'm surprised that more medical people aren't aware of live donor transplants...I'd be really curious to see some stats on medical professional awareness! I'm beginning to suspect that a lot of them really don't know much about it. And that's a lotta lives that could be saved! For want of a little open mindedness and sharing. Not that I want any. ohhh your so brave crap, but step up to the plate people! These are actual LIVES we're talking about. People we know and care about...living and breathing and continuing on because we're willing to push our own "braveness" envelope a little bit. I don't think I'm any braver, tougher or courageous than the next person. It's just that when I ask the question about why would you do this I can only answer, Why Not? For me there is no reason not to...so I do it.

Clean Colon = Clean Bill of Health

Ahh finally finished all the prep work...all the drinking of vile fluids and becoming one with the porcelain throne! Drove my self to the Colonoscopy & Endoscopy Unit. A tad week but clear headed. Found rinsing the mouth with water and the spitting it out kept me from feeling totally dehydrated.

I have to say the people who work there really do go out of their way to make you feel comfortable with what is unquestionably an uncomfortable situation. They really could not have been any sweeter or more efficient. I was only in the waiting room for maybe 5 minutes.

Once in the back I was told to strip and put on one of those fabulous backless gowns. Although, I must say this did have a side tie for some degree of coverage. Grace got me a pair of socks, as I'd wandered in wearing only a t-shirt, jeans and sandals.

A female Dr. with a very heavy Indian accent came and took more vital information...and was very charming a sweet, making sure I was comfy etc etc. They then proceeded to put in an IV site on my hand. I got a bit nervous, after my exciting episode with a CT scan in Philly a week and a half earlier. Nothing untoward happened. In fact they were very good at it!

From here they rolled me into the actual 'scope room and I met my nurse anesthetist aka the woman of my dreams. Basically ... knock me out and you can do any test to me...damn near anything! One white syringe full of Milk of Anesthesia and I was out for at least a half an hour. Best sleep I had all weekend!

Twenty minutes, a glass of grape juice and I'm dressed, walking out the door for Peter to ferry home again!

Sweetest part of the whole deal...having Dr. Taub tell me he won't be seeing me for about 7 years!! :-) Nice guy but nicer interval!

Squeaky Clean!

Today I get to do penance for all the over eating of the winter! I'm prepping for a colonoscopy tomorrow morning. So after stuffing myself with lovely wonderful warm spicy Indian cuisine last night, I get clear liquids all day long!! Good thing I did my weekend bike ride in the hills yesterday! I think it would be a little rougher to do 30 miles on nothing but clears!

Funny thing is a young man I know who lives in Florida is prepping today too! So we'll be sharing the pain! Gary has Crohns (same as my oldest son) so for him this is actually a fairly routine sorta thing. Could probably teach me a thing or two. I did send him a suggestion that some beers might also be considered a clear liquid. Just stay away from the Hefeweissen's!!

During lunch on yesterdays hill ride, I had a fairly long chat with the friend I was riding with about telling and not telling people about this upcoming event. Although I'm "posting" here, I haven't actually told a soul about this blog. So far it's more of an electronic diary. I will probably post it publicly later. For now, I'm laying low.

There are a variety of reasons. One, first and foremost is the privacy of the recipient. It won't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it is and connect us. Second, while I have no questions in my mind about doing this, the negative questions, while well intended, get old. Not that people aren't supportive, but they frequently project their own fears about surgery and all things medical onto me and my situation. I want to be able to support and encourage others, but would never in a million years dream of trying to push or persuade someone to do this. This is something others have said, as though they feel guilty because they're not or can't see themselves doing this. My feeling is it's gotta be from the gut/heart! You the donor just plain want to do it. And if you don't that's really ok too!

One thing to be said for all the testing it's making sure I get all the tires check, rotated, fluids checked etc. I will have one clean bill of health when we are finished!! Gonna have to go now...I hear some green Gatorade calling my name...yum!! Hcccccckkkk (basic hairball sorta noise there!)

Things to be mindful of..

It's been a week since my dramatic swooning in the hospital awaiting my CT scan. Feels much longer.

Had a terrific Easter, although I never got of my chickies in the same place at the same time. But, you learn to be grateful for small things. Patrick & Adrianne came early, straight from church. Peter and Jen came late after work for her and yard work for him. So...over the course of the day, all were accounted for and I'm happy with that.

Now begins the waiting for this, waiting for that. There is a lot that goes into being a donor. Things I wouldn't have thought about, but when explained made absolute sense.

A donor has to be in really good health. Duh. A donor has to be younger than 60 (at least at the U of P) ok, makes sense too. The older we are the slower the recovery, also the more "worn" the parts. Donors are checked for everything you could think of. I'm having to provide results for or have done, Pap test, Mammogram (must be within one year), colonoscopy (Monday!) Glucose testing (fasting, my favorite thing) What they're trying to make absolutely certain of is that in addition to my own ability to handle the surgery, we don't want to pass on any cancer cells. The recipient will be taking anti rejection drugs for the rest of their life. All designed to suppress their body's natural reaction to a foreign substance, my kidney. Now add cancer and you can see where this would leave them. Totally vulnerable.

Then there are the ever popular 24 hour urine specimens! For men...easy peasy! For women..a bit rougher. Usually this gets done twice in the vetting process. I get to do it three times, due to female issues contaminating the first go round w/protein (ie, blood). Not to be to gross, but essentially you have a "hat" as the pros call it, that you place in the toilet and then pour into a half gallon brown plastic jug. Lots of fun! Especially when you have to figure out how to do this in a stall at work. Discreetly. No one at work knows I'm doing this. And then the urine must be kept "fresh". As in refrigerated. Try doing that discreetly at work. I've found using those frozen things for plastic "Ice" things that you put in picnic baskets work pretty well, esp when combined with an insulated tote bag.

Now if this all weren't enough, the samples need to be delivered to the hospital....which is an hour away. Not really a big deal, just hard to do when you work full time. So since I'm lucky enough to have a very good kid, who works 10 minutes from the hospital, I've made arrangements for him to stop by the house on his way back from grad school, pick up my carefully packaged sample, and deliver it on his way to the office the next morning. Think about that...is this a good son or what!

On the upside of it all, I will have as complete and clear a bill of health as any 53 yr old anywhere!

Why

Or as I prefer to think of it, simply, why not.

To actually begin as close to the beginning as possible, I've always been a donor. Of sorts. I've given blood ... sporadically I admit. I've had my license marking me as a possible donor from day one. I've been listed on the bone marrow registry for about 4 years now. So the idea of giving up pieces and parts ain't a new idea to me, or to my family. They know and hopefully remember when the time comes that I'd rather be "useful" than just a pretty body in a box !

So why this extreme and why now? While I've know others who have had kidney problems, V is the first person I've known who was geographically close by. That sort of has the effect of making it more "in your face" if you will. The 2 others I've known were thousands of miles away. So it made any thought of donating very difficult and time consuming to say nothing of expensive because of traveling.

No one asked me if I would. But simply in the conversation, it came out that she'd gone straight to the top of the list for transplant. That tells you how bad her health is now. Usually people can spend a lot of time...gradually getting worse, being watched etc. Not in this case. Her kidneys are simply shutting down, throwing in the towel.

Her illness seems to be inherited so her own kids wouldn't be a good idea. They may be next.

I on the other hand, have no kidney issues, nor any other real health issues. I am of a great age to do this. My kiddies are grown, gone, 2/3rds married! No one "needs" me to mommy them or anything else.

So I simply said to her hubby that I'd be willing to be tested. To say it shocked him is putting it politely. But like I said at the beginning, why not. For myself I can't think of a good enough reason not to do this. Sure it'll hurt. Surgery usually does..but these things pass. Yeah it's a bit of a pain having to go back and forth to the hospital....taking blood (22 vials in one sitting a week ago!) Urine specimens, or as I prefer to think of them, product samples. But really, these are all inconveniences... not real hurdles or difficulties. They pass. But with out a kidney, so too could V. All because I didn't "feel" like being inconvenienced...I think not.

So I guess in a nutshell that's my thought process. It fit's my life "philosophy"...what's the worst that could happen if you do this!! And as long as I'm ok with the answer to that question at that moment...I say Do It!

My favorite books begin in medias res. Smack dab in the middle of the story. So appropriately enough, I begin my tale somewhere in the middle of this journey.

Today was the day I went to the hospital for a CT scan. Specifically of my torso. For the purpose of checking out the lay of the land. Where do my kidneys sit inside me. How are they in comparison to other bodily parts and organs. And via that lovely hot flash of contrast...how well do they appear to work. Which one of them appears best for the plucking. While this is all rather routine for folks at the hospital, some parts of today's journey sure weren't.

I arrived late due to staggering amounts of traffic in Center City, on what should have been a fairly light travel day. After all a good number of business give off on Good Friday. So I thought getting there would be a piece of cake. I figured and hour plus to get to the U of P Hospital would be plenty. Wrong. Sitting in the Vine St. express way, watching the gas gauge go lower and lower and starting to sweat with anxiety, I actually called my youngest and had him check on line to see if there was any news of an accident...nada! I finally did a grand tour-de-tour thru down town and arrived at the hospital only about 15 to 20 minutes late.

Fortunately U of P is a big place and builds in a fair bit of play to their schedules. They also have the most fabulous valet parking system. So all I have to do each time is find my way there, and hand over my keys. Sweet system!

I bolted across the street via one of the terrific overhead walkways, and into the Perlman Building , down the escalator and into Radiology. The receptionist gives you one of those discs that restaurants use to let you know your table is ready. Hmmmm. Table for one...interesting!

They seem to streamline my waits (guess they like me!) and I'm in the changing/waiting room after only one page in my 900 page book. Yes, I am that prepared. I find myself sitting, elegantly clad in large blue, grey and maroon hospital gowns together with two other women. They get the ever popular milkshakes of indeterminate flavor that everyone just loves to chug before getting a look see at their innards. Me...I get nothing.

In fact at this point I haven't had anything 'cept a cuppa coffee early in the morning. It's now approaching 1:15! No water...no food...zip. Actually those chalky cups of goodness are actually starting to look really good! Now that is desperation.

Moments later a cute young man calls my name and the fun begins. I need to have an IV site put in for the contrast that will be coming later. Now mind you I've already had lots, and lots and lots of blood drawn as well as other stuff done to me. But today my bod decides it wants more contrast of a different kind. As we're chatting about blood, blood transfusions, blood stains not showing on these gorgeous gowns...stuff I really do find fascinating...I felt light..fuzzy. I know this feeling well, unfortunately, very very well. I don't play this game lightly and promptly look at him..and say "I need to lay down. NOW." Apparently the bit of blood that got spilled (but didn't stain my gown!) was the last straw to my usual low pressure, after a morning of dehydration.

According to sources I went down three times! I dunno I wasn't really there...but apparently they still use the same nasty formula for those ammonia thingys! Eww! But I did get my stretcher and nice warm blankies! After about 45 minutes of embarrassment and a bag of saline and a little begging on my part...I finally get my CT scan! I mean do they really want me having to go thru this again...???? Why not just do it and get it over with. Apparently they agreed!

So now I await the return of the prodigal surgeon, who had a family emergency.

Ok, I guess the why needs to be answered. I am a living donor for a kidney transplant. Or as I told them today...I'll do anything to lose a pound or so of weight. Anything!