Fin - well almost!

Well, almost!  My next check up isn't for months.  In fact, not till Dec. 6th.  That's six months almost to the day from my surgery.  Today's check up went very well, just too long as always.

 I've been given clearance to leg up on the bike!! Hooooray! and allowed back into the gym (although I didn't tell them I went to a Zumba class yesterday afternoon)  Real weights are out of the question till probably the Dec. appointment.  They want to be sure that I don't herniate anything.  So I'll be sticking with the lighter weights..which is good, I need to start rebuilding my base here.

If I had any doubts that about being in good shape helping with recovery, they were answered today.  One of my fellow donors, eight years younger than I, is having a really difficult recovery.  I'm sure she's somewhat fit, let's face it, or she'd never have been approved for donation.  Still, she's not even back at work at all yet and I'm actually going full time this week. How I feel about being back at my job is another story entirely.

Last night on the couch!

Well, tonight may well be the last night on the couch.  I'm rolling over fairly easily onto my right side.  the swelling is...well not too bad.  I can sit for fair periods...and am actually feeling like going upstairs to bed.  Course, the hubby will have to get used to getting hit for snoring ...and not hogging the whole damn bed, but .. we are returning to normal now.  Bit by bit by bit!

The scar is getting slowly more flesh like, the swelling made the area around it hard and stiff.

I'm probably actually going out tonight for the first time since the surgery.  My nephew, in the Navy, is in town and this may be the last shot at seeing him for a very long time.  Plus if I get tired..we go home.  It's as simple as that...or just lay down on a couch or spare bed for a little bit.  That's the biggest problem with work.  When the need to lay down comes on, I NEED to lay down. Plain and simple.  So, may be another week before work is possible, or maybe start with half days.  Time will tell.

8:30 am Dr. appt. tomorrow at the Hospital.

Three Days and a wake up!

It's a glorious Saturday morning...the hubby is mowing the lawn, the sun is shining and it's a tad warm, but then, this is summer time in New Jersey!

Went to the hospital yesterday morning for one last blood letting.  Only around 5 or 6 vials this time.  This is for the final cross match with my recipient.  Kind of nerve racking.   If for some reason there is reactivity ... then everything gets stopped.  I know for a fact Vicky is nervous too.  So incredibly close and yet, until we are in the hospital and in the operating rooms.. it could still come to a halt.

One more person at work now knows.  Our financial wizard, aka head of finance.  He needed to know what was going on with Pete being out on family leave, so Pete felt the need to tell him why I was out at exactly the same.  To my surprise he is totally honoring our wishes for "silence" and came over to wish me luck.  All this with a look of total surprise.

So Tuesday June 8th at around 5 in the morning...we will be leaving the house to drive over, get parked and get this party started.

I've had another reminder of what is possible with one kidney.  My beautiful sister-in-law, Laura, is in Macon Georgia, doing another 1/2 Ironman.  14 years after the removal of her kidney (along with the tumor that weighed more than 7.5 lbs.)  So...who knows, maybe I'll get faster AND stronger afterwards.

It's taken me till now to really wrap my head around the fact that other people find this such a strange thing to do.  To me this really does just seem natural.  Or maybe it's just that this is the exact place and space I'm supposed to be in.  The exact road I'm meant to travel and that's why it feels so perfectly right and comfortable.

My dad calls from Olympia WA, nearly every day.  Just checking up on his daughter....making sure I feel ok.  And I do.  Andy calls too, sort of surprised that I was still at work, but honestly...why not??? I have things to do lists to leave people to "train".  I plan on being in work on Monday too!  What else am I going to do....clean house...I don't thinks so.  I have a lovely plaque in the family room given by a co worker years ago.  "Housework causes warts" !  I believe! I believe!

Ah well off to do some....work, just work, cause after all it's only, oh hell, 2 days and a wake up!!

Final "Pre" Dr. appt.

Tomorrow at 9:45 I meet the surgeon for the first time.  Apparently the head of the transplant dept. is doing my surgery.  Guess that's cause they have to do open on me.  Kinda nice to know I'm getting one of the most experienced people working on me. Now I may have to discuss stitching techniques. I like feather or blanket stitch embroidery personally...have to see what he favors.  And what  his thoughts are for my tattoo afterwards.  Still toying with the idea of "I gave at the office"  or "US Grade A prime".  Wonder if he'll have the same lack of humor the other nephrologist!

Did a beautiful Century Ride yesterday with a bunch of folks and friends from Doan Academy. Figure this may be the last one for this year.  It was amazing to ride along side a bunch of adorable 8th graders doing something that many experienced riders have never done.  Rode along side the Head Master for many a mile too.  He asked if I would come in and talk to the Upper School (aka High School) about what I'm doing.  I responded, before or after, and he said before.  Not sure when they get done with their school year, but it may be that it's too early for my after.   He thinks it's a cool thing and that the idea that someone would do it for a non family member is "inspiring"... I just think it's what I need to do.

Told my dearest old friend Rose about it last week, she's all behind it!  Turns out her daughter actually works in "HUP" aka Hospital of University of Pennsylvania.  So having company while I'm there should be easy!

Limbo

Well, that's what this feels like anyhow! I'm still waiting for one of the Dr. offices to call me back. They're supposed to be arranging a hysteroscopy. This will allow them a final look deep inside and determine that the "growth" is exactly that...a growth and nothing more. It's frustrating just having to sit and wait. I actually left a rather pointed message on the voice mail of the woman who does the scheduling, explaining that she is right now...the single domino that's holding up all the works.

Next trip to the U of P will be for an Echo Cardiogram...also a fun test...especially if you get to watch. I did the last time I had this done, almost 6 or 7 years ago. It was so amazing watching your own heart beating away, and then with help from the technician, seeing the valve that's misbehaving. I'm always fascinated by how our bodies work and to actually get to see your own in action is simply too much fun.

I found out during my last go round at the hospital that they won't be able to do laparoscopic surgery on me. Apparently from the CT scan they were able to determine exactly where my kidneys lie and it's not compatible with that type of surgery.  SO looks like I'll wind up with one big scar instead of 3 very small and one medium one. Had a thought the other day, a tattoo, in small clean print type font, saying, "I gave at the office" ! May have to revise my "I'll never get a tattoo" philosophy.

It's hard waiting too, knowing that I'm "training" for rides and races I may never get to do. The American Cancer ride is in July, I was planning on doing the Metric Century, 100k, but may not be allowed to ride yet. I'm planning a kayak trip to the Delaware Water Gap, but may not be able to paddle (won't be able to lift anything more than 10 lbs, so getting into and out of the 'yak, may be difficult). I'm part of organizing a Livestrong Challenge team, and won't be sure what distance I'll be riding, if any, for a while. My original plan was 100 miles, but now that's all up in the air. I may wind up doing 20 or so with the cancer survivors...if I'm lucky. And I'll be happy with that. It's just every single thing this summer is now up in the air. Guess it's kinda like finding out your kidneys are dying...and killing you too...Life itself is up in the air, waiting, hoping. Limbo.

Waiting...tick tick tic....

Sort of all done till my meeting with the Nephrologist. Then apparently...later another meeting with the actual surgeon! That won't occur till April 30th. That's when I get to deliver two fresh half gallons of Pee!! Chilled to perfection..and then of course get more blood drawn...wonder if it's going to be 19 vials for each specimen??? That's what they took the last time!! But in all honesty I think those were for some of the original matching stuff and also initial checking of my health. Don't think they'll need that many the next time...doesn't matter! They always remind me that I can quit at any time and they'll cover for me...like that would happen...! I guess it does..but I know I won't, there just doesn't seem to be anyway to not do it. This really is someone else's life, how do I turn away at this point! It would just feel wrong. So now I just try to be patient, and wait...two weeks to go.

Things to be mindful of..

It's been a week since my dramatic swooning in the hospital awaiting my CT scan. Feels much longer.

Had a terrific Easter, although I never got of my chickies in the same place at the same time. But, you learn to be grateful for small things. Patrick & Adrianne came early, straight from church. Peter and Jen came late after work for her and yard work for him. So...over the course of the day, all were accounted for and I'm happy with that.

Now begins the waiting for this, waiting for that. There is a lot that goes into being a donor. Things I wouldn't have thought about, but when explained made absolute sense.

A donor has to be in really good health. Duh. A donor has to be younger than 60 (at least at the U of P) ok, makes sense too. The older we are the slower the recovery, also the more "worn" the parts. Donors are checked for everything you could think of. I'm having to provide results for or have done, Pap test, Mammogram (must be within one year), colonoscopy (Monday!) Glucose testing (fasting, my favorite thing) What they're trying to make absolutely certain of is that in addition to my own ability to handle the surgery, we don't want to pass on any cancer cells. The recipient will be taking anti rejection drugs for the rest of their life. All designed to suppress their body's natural reaction to a foreign substance, my kidney. Now add cancer and you can see where this would leave them. Totally vulnerable.

Then there are the ever popular 24 hour urine specimens! For men...easy peasy! For women..a bit rougher. Usually this gets done twice in the vetting process. I get to do it three times, due to female issues contaminating the first go round w/protein (ie, blood). Not to be to gross, but essentially you have a "hat" as the pros call it, that you place in the toilet and then pour into a half gallon brown plastic jug. Lots of fun! Especially when you have to figure out how to do this in a stall at work. Discreetly. No one at work knows I'm doing this. And then the urine must be kept "fresh". As in refrigerated. Try doing that discreetly at work. I've found using those frozen things for plastic "Ice" things that you put in picnic baskets work pretty well, esp when combined with an insulated tote bag.

Now if this all weren't enough, the samples need to be delivered to the hospital....which is an hour away. Not really a big deal, just hard to do when you work full time. So since I'm lucky enough to have a very good kid, who works 10 minutes from the hospital, I've made arrangements for him to stop by the house on his way back from grad school, pick up my carefully packaged sample, and deliver it on his way to the office the next morning. Think about that...is this a good son or what!

On the upside of it all, I will have as complete and clear a bill of health as any 53 yr old anywhere!

My favorite books begin in medias res. Smack dab in the middle of the story. So appropriately enough, I begin my tale somewhere in the middle of this journey.

Today was the day I went to the hospital for a CT scan. Specifically of my torso. For the purpose of checking out the lay of the land. Where do my kidneys sit inside me. How are they in comparison to other bodily parts and organs. And via that lovely hot flash of contrast...how well do they appear to work. Which one of them appears best for the plucking. While this is all rather routine for folks at the hospital, some parts of today's journey sure weren't.

I arrived late due to staggering amounts of traffic in Center City, on what should have been a fairly light travel day. After all a good number of business give off on Good Friday. So I thought getting there would be a piece of cake. I figured and hour plus to get to the U of P Hospital would be plenty. Wrong. Sitting in the Vine St. express way, watching the gas gauge go lower and lower and starting to sweat with anxiety, I actually called my youngest and had him check on line to see if there was any news of an accident...nada! I finally did a grand tour-de-tour thru down town and arrived at the hospital only about 15 to 20 minutes late.

Fortunately U of P is a big place and builds in a fair bit of play to their schedules. They also have the most fabulous valet parking system. So all I have to do each time is find my way there, and hand over my keys. Sweet system!

I bolted across the street via one of the terrific overhead walkways, and into the Perlman Building , down the escalator and into Radiology. The receptionist gives you one of those discs that restaurants use to let you know your table is ready. Hmmmm. Table for one...interesting!

They seem to streamline my waits (guess they like me!) and I'm in the changing/waiting room after only one page in my 900 page book. Yes, I am that prepared. I find myself sitting, elegantly clad in large blue, grey and maroon hospital gowns together with two other women. They get the ever popular milkshakes of indeterminate flavor that everyone just loves to chug before getting a look see at their innards. Me...I get nothing.

In fact at this point I haven't had anything 'cept a cuppa coffee early in the morning. It's now approaching 1:15! No water...no food...zip. Actually those chalky cups of goodness are actually starting to look really good! Now that is desperation.

Moments later a cute young man calls my name and the fun begins. I need to have an IV site put in for the contrast that will be coming later. Now mind you I've already had lots, and lots and lots of blood drawn as well as other stuff done to me. But today my bod decides it wants more contrast of a different kind. As we're chatting about blood, blood transfusions, blood stains not showing on these gorgeous gowns...stuff I really do find fascinating...I felt light..fuzzy. I know this feeling well, unfortunately, very very well. I don't play this game lightly and promptly look at him..and say "I need to lay down. NOW." Apparently the bit of blood that got spilled (but didn't stain my gown!) was the last straw to my usual low pressure, after a morning of dehydration.

According to sources I went down three times! I dunno I wasn't really there...but apparently they still use the same nasty formula for those ammonia thingys! Eww! But I did get my stretcher and nice warm blankies! After about 45 minutes of embarrassment and a bag of saline and a little begging on my part...I finally get my CT scan! I mean do they really want me having to go thru this again...???? Why not just do it and get it over with. Apparently they agreed!

So now I await the return of the prodigal surgeon, who had a family emergency.

Ok, I guess the why needs to be answered. I am a living donor for a kidney transplant. Or as I told them today...I'll do anything to lose a pound or so of weight. Anything!